When I think back to all the times that I have had big bad behaviors myself or have witnessed other adults portraying attitudes of aggression in front of little people, it’s no wonder we see it replicated and used against us by our little ones when we least expect it! Have no fear… as adults, we have a superpower that we rarely utilize, PATIENCE.
I will admit, our schedule is jam-packed, and I just want to fix the problem and move on. Why can’t they just be good for five minutes so I can finish dinner!? What a brilliant question, let’s ask, “Lylah, why can’t you just be good?” Response from Lylah, “Because I don’t want to, that’s why!”
Wait, that did not work. Let’s try again, but this time throw in some patience and remove my frustration from the equation, “I know that you are very angry right now and I don’t understand why. If it’s ok with you, I would like to find out what is causing you this much pain. Is it ok with you if I sit next to you for a little while and you can help me understand?”
It seems so simplistic, and yet I am constantly reminding myself that a 5-to-10-minute conversation might just lead to a lifetime worth of emotionally stable adults. Just remember that when you are having big bad behaviors there is usually a deeper root to your anger and frustration, perhaps you are struggling financially, your significant other missed your anniversary, you have lost your job, or you are simply stressed about tomorrow. Once you figure out the root of evil entangling you, and change your own conduct, it becomes much easier to show them how to embrace their emotions and convey them appropriately.
Peaches & Pits 